Friday, January 8, 2010

I am a sex addict. I've called myself this for almost 10 years now. I think it's grown on me and try as I might, I can't shake it. My sex drive is ruining my opportunity for a decent life.

I don't think the sex is the problem; the problem is the addiction.

Pardon me if that doesn't make any sense to you. It's just making sense to me now. If I wasn't an addict, I could make love to several different women a day, masturbate countless times, look at porn for hours, hire a prostitute. But I am an addict, so even though I want to do all those things (well not quite that much- maybe sex with two women, a prostitute and masturbating 2 or 3 times), I cannot.

Also, I am married.

And my sex life is starting to impinge upon (starting to - it's been doing it for years) my career and daily work.

Anyway - I feel isolated. I don't like SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) too much because I have trouble relating to the other people who are there. I've been a chronic relapser and I just don't feel like I can be respected for my experience - and I find that they seem naive. I'm going to meetings anyway.

So I'm also starting this blog to communicate with other addicts and those who are interested. I hope I was able to maintain my anonymity. Gonna try to blog daily instead of going to meetings all the time, or joining a step group. Hopefully I can receive some support and sponsorship through the internet. Lord knows my addiction has found it useful.

1 comment:

  1. I used to jokingly call myself a sex addict. The joke was on me. It was true. I found that the SAA meetings were not helpful. I also struggle with same sex attraction. I finally called a group called Harvest USA. Harvest has helped me tremendously. They help you see what the actual underlying problem really is. It doesn't mean that one is delivered instantaneously, but gradually, though there may be some that are delivered from the addiction in an instant. Harvest is a Christian based organization. Check them out on HarvestUSA.ORG
    I would like to continue talking with you. I also travel a lot in my job, weekly. Temptation is always going to be there. In a lot of ways you have described,I see myself.

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