Showing posts with label meetings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label meetings. Show all posts

Friday, January 8, 2010

I am a sex addict. I've called myself this for almost 10 years now. I think it's grown on me and try as I might, I can't shake it. My sex drive is ruining my opportunity for a decent life.

I don't think the sex is the problem; the problem is the addiction.

Pardon me if that doesn't make any sense to you. It's just making sense to me now. If I wasn't an addict, I could make love to several different women a day, masturbate countless times, look at porn for hours, hire a prostitute. But I am an addict, so even though I want to do all those things (well not quite that much- maybe sex with two women, a prostitute and masturbating 2 or 3 times), I cannot.

Also, I am married.

And my sex life is starting to impinge upon (starting to - it's been doing it for years) my career and daily work.

Anyway - I feel isolated. I don't like SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) too much because I have trouble relating to the other people who are there. I've been a chronic relapser and I just don't feel like I can be respected for my experience - and I find that they seem naive. I'm going to meetings anyway.

So I'm also starting this blog to communicate with other addicts and those who are interested. I hope I was able to maintain my anonymity. Gonna try to blog daily instead of going to meetings all the time, or joining a step group. Hopefully I can receive some support and sponsorship through the internet. Lord knows my addiction has found it useful.