Just got back from the pool. Mildly arousing - always. I can remember being aroused at the pool as far back as 10 years old. Was there with my son. I don't think I overdid it checking any of the girls out.
I was thinking about how much of this is biology. Humans are not naturally monogamous. Being married is EXTREMELY stressful for me because I am a natural playboy. I am starting to think it is part of my genetic makeup. What should I do? My wife might go for letting me sleep around - but what a lame life. And it wouldn't satisfy my genetic urges - I wouldn't produce any offspring.
The way it works for most people in this modern society is serial monogamy through divorce and remarriage. Well I'm not into divorcing for the kids.
HELP - this sucks. I am a prisoner of my genetic predisposition to spread my seed. I don't think these urges will go away with the help of the 12 steps. I HAVE TRIED FOR 10 YEARS and I just think they're as much a part of me as being gay is a part of a gay dude.
But what options do I have? I hate this mismatch of society and my psyche.
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